I'm frustrated. Not the kind of thing that is easy to share.
To share with myself or others.
We are supposed to have it all figured out, half the time, it seems.
Figured out enough to have a full time job that pays well and is semi sensible.
A job we can complain about during the week and take a vacation from on the weekends.
I do not always have such a job.
I'm a contract artist.
I painted a friends apartment today.
Tomorrow I'll travel to SF to paint and work on Parade Floats.
Its fun and worth the experience, when I can get out there.
Then Tuesday I will work on some artwork at my buddy's restaurant.
Which hopefully opens in a month or two.
After that, I may have an art mural to paint.
But I need a full-time job!
I'm existing on loans and credit.
Its not a way to live.
But its getting me through this year while I try to pay it off.
I obtained a 0% APR on a balance transfer. At least I won't have the interest to pay.
I'm also learning to care for myself these days.
It's an odd thing to realize...that I have been putting many people before myself for a very long time.
This year I have been diving into Improv Acting.
I enjoy it very much.
I'm been dabbling for about a year and diving in for about the last 6 months.
I'm learning, taking classes, doing shows, joined some troupes.
It's been good.
And the most important part. I think I'm doing it for me.
I am now taking Improv classes at American Improv Theatre and I'm attending a handful of Improv monthly jams with various groups. Plus, I am throwing my hat at writing sketch comedy. I haven't yet quit my day job of artist for the entertainment section of the bay area. But I'm finding more of my heart going into playing for a living! Although, painting for a living is very nice indeed.
I love this life and I am very grateful.
Hope you all are having a good one. It's a good day to be yourself.
Lara Sophia ;} Madhu
p.s. I returned the pages to this blog.
There are some amusing things on them in case you would like a fancy at them.
AND HERE ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PICTURES FROM MY ALLEGED PAST.
Welcome to now...
I'm back in the bay area, how did that happen?
I was here back in 2013. Went to India 2014.
Stayed there for most of a year and a half.
And here I am.
Life is Good.
I am happy.
Hope you all are well.
I'll attempt to update when I can as life seems to progress.
I'm working and keeping busy.
Philosophy of Physics
is the latest passion of interest
and also more art!
Love you all.
I've been around the country since my return from India:
First Humboldt County,
Second San Jose,
Third to visit Idyllwild,
Back to the Bay Area,
East to visit family,
San Diego :)
...and now I'm back in the Idyllwild Mountains!
I should be hunkering down for the winter.
Let me know if and when you would like to come visit. Friends and family are very welcome here.
I will be removing dry dead plants to keep the land out here fire resistant.
Also, I will be composting, because I Love that :)
Very happy and grateful to be here.
Looking forward to a mutual support system with the community and the land here for a while.
Always looking for home, within and around me. Take care!
Madhura, Lara Sophia
Present and Positive
It's nice to be involved in something grand with good people and values surrounding nature with care.
I participated in an Action Day and helped mark some trails for waking around the land.
Other days I remove dry sage brush to make the area safe in this arid weather.
And that's an outdoor compost toilet!
The people here are wonderful to be around and I enjoy contributing to the community.
Helping with Art Projects!
'Haunt' at Great America, assisting with painting the Halloween mazes.
'The Commons, presents Harvest'
at St James Park in San Jose this Friday.
We'll be setting up the decor during the day for the event at night.
I'm especially excited about the prospect of ballerinas and good music.
I've been here since last fall this trip.
I served as a volunteer in the compost department
and have been very happy in this service.
I will miss my family that I've had the honor of being around.
I love you all and see you :)
p.s. Thanks for all the birthday wishes...
even though I didn't annouce it so much,
I did get a day older :)
Leo Horoscope for week of March 26, 2015
"The national anthem of Hell must be the old Frank Sinatra song 'I Did It My Way,'" declares Richard Wagner, author of the book C.S. Lewis & Narnia for Dummies. "Selfish pride is Hell's most common trait," he adds. "Hell's inhabitants have a sense of satisfaction that they can at least say 'they've been true to themselves.'" Heed this warning, Leo. Tame your lust for self-expression. APRIL FOOL! I was making a little joke. The truth is not as simplistic as I implied. I actually think it's important for you to be able to declare "I did it my way" and "I've been true to myself." But for best results, do it in ways that aren't selfish, insensitive, or arrogant.
PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
"The seed cannot sprout upwards without simultaneously sending roots into the ground," says an Egyptian proverb. Keep that thought in mind as you head into your next phase of growth. What part of you needs to deepen as you rise up? What growth needs to unfold in the hidden places as you gravitate toward the light? How can you go about balancing and stabilizing your ascension with a downward penetration?
I have been in India for 5 months now. I wish I could show you what everything looks like here. Maybe you shall just come visit some day and see for yourself.
I am back to my regular schedule it would seem today. I had a cold that made my body very tired for many days. It was a good time to search within myself and watch my thoughts, whatever that means.
Today I went to my caretaker seva (volunteer work) and then I came home to have rest for a bit before breakfast. So I thought I could write a bit before the rest of the day.
After breakfast I shall see if I have the gusto to go back to compost seva as well. I have been with the compost seva team since February and I love the work and people there a lot.
...perhaps more later. You have any specific questions, lemme know!